Wounded Healer

Growing up, I had the kind of childhood one has to survive.

In order to survive I created coping strategies to block out as much darkness as I could. This protection system served me beautifully for many years. A full body of armor developed as a child began to hold me back as an adult.

That same curious, smart survivor child had a calling very young, to help other children.

And thus began my journey as a wounded healer.

Being the first person in my family to finish high school in Sacramento, I impulsively moved out as soon as I could to attend college in San Diego. Luckily, yoga quickly became part of my lifestyle and the gateway to my lifelong healing quest. In college, I learned how to teach children through art as an elementary school teacher. My personal relationships were hard. Anxiety was constant. Balancing stress and accomplishing academic success felt impossible. My family didn’t know how to support me and I felt alone, like an imposter and undercover listless - like a balloon floating in space on the verge of popping.

My brutish armored-up protector parts led the way charging fullsteam ahead. Working at restaurants and taking far more than a full time course schedule I was able to unconsciously numb myself (read: protect myself the only way I knew how) by staying fantastically busy. All The While, it became clear that the role of classroom teacher was not mine, I enrolled in a school psychology graduate program while also working at a foster care facility. Connecting with these amazing children gave me a profound sense of purpose and deeper understanding that assessments told only a fraction of the story. My desire was to connect with the wholeness of a human. As a result, I pivoted to a school counseling program. In between here, a life changing adventure of donating a kidney to a boyfriend. This experience gave me a glimpse into the intimate reality that death plays in our lives, connecting me deeply to my soul (clarity, he survived but there was a moment of complication).

The time came to move back to Northern California as I got to complete a school counseling internship in Davis. Where I discovered and fell madly in love with Art Therapy. Shortly after, while working as a school counselor in San Francisco I entered my second graduate program in art therapy psychology. My path lead me to the San Francisco Zen Center where I entered a training program in Buddhism. This relationship with Buddhism taught me how to include mindfulness into the cracks of my armor. It furthered my understanding of darkness, non-attachment and death. I was able to start a relationship with my own darkness. At art therapy school I was fascinated by existential psychotherapy. As these intense programs were concluding I had a miscarriage. Devastated, I tried again and was blessed with my greatest teachers thus far; my wise, amazing, sensitive twins. After the grueling licencing path and challenging postpartum I obtained my LPCC (licensed professional clinical counselor) in 2013.

I went into private practice in Sacramento specializing in supporting children and teenagers and did a deep dive into play therapy. I welcomed my third child into our family, my ultimate teacher of peace. Soon after his birth, my marriage deteriorated and I was thrust into the world of coparenting and a stint in homelessness. My mom was able to provide a soft landing temporarily. Amidst the turmoil of divorce I continued with my inner work and became a trainer in The Nurtured Heart Approach. A mindfulness parenting and humaning approach for clearer seeing. It quickly became clear both personally and professionally that in order to support children I had to support parents. Over the past decade I’ve been cultivating a healing space for children of all ages. Helping adults with their literal children and importantly, their inner child. I’ve been called to study parts work and helping to facilitate internal reparenting in adults. Helping them to get to know their protective systems and heal the wounds that keep us unconscious.

Gratefully, I met a great love of my life, Shawn. He taught me much about compassion, healing, kindness, plant medicine and ultimately deep loss. He was a champion for learning, being of service, healing and consciousness expansion through psilocybin. Inspired by him, I entered my own healing journey with psychedelics. When he died my world never felt the same again. Pregnant with our daughter I softened in ways I didn’t know were possible. Surfing through vast seemingly endless grief somehow I kept going.

I started my own psychedelic healing journey in 2015. I’ve been working with and learning about plant medicines since. It’s made me a more patient and loving parent and human. I’ve also been able to identify and heal many of my wounded internal parts. My protective system is more steady and less reactive these days. It’s helped me work through some of my traumas, grief and all the snowglobiness that came with the covid times.

I’ve been involved in some bone deep intensive training programs preparing to offer these services to you. Some from shamanistic wisdom traditions and others from the western clinical perspective. Creating my own blend of sacred and science. Zen Rebel, if you will!

I am also offering Ketamine Assisted Psychotherapy (KAP) to humans 18+ in-person and over zoom. I partnered with Journey Clinical who provides a Doctor and prescriber who monitors medical safety. Ketamine is a safe and legal medicine that is used off-label in psychotherapy to experience a deep pause from your usual anxious and/or depressed tendencies. Experiencing this pause and being intentional to create new neuropathways in your more pliable brain. Using what is understood in neuroscience around neuroplasticity to take advantage of this healing experience. Together with preparation and integration therapy we can super-power the therapeutic process with ketamine.

At this time, the only legal psychedelic in California is Ketamine. It seems that psilocybin and MDMA will also be legal soon (yay!). I understand that you may be already engaging in your own psychedelic healing. This can feel lonely at times with some of the stigma still attached. It’s quickly morphing gaining popularity and I’m here for it. If you’re looking for integration support with your self dosing medicine work, I would love to join your journey.